Memories Past
by short-skirtbluescarf
Summary: River kidnaps the Doctor for a little while. She gives major spoilers but at a cost. Will this new information change the way he feels about the mysterious woman he can't figure out? Lots of laughs and a few tugs at the heart! A thrilling stolen moment of Who history!


**A few weeks after "Journey's End"... far far away from Earth...**

The Doctor was alone again. He was on some planet far across the universe outrunning his past and future all in one go. Despite his greatest efforts, the Time Lord felt comfort and satisfaction nowhere. There wasn't a planet or era missed in his efforts to lose himself. His friends were gone, no race or species was in immediate danger, and his mind had somehow become a haze. Perhaps they were right, the dear friends he released to finish their normal lives in peace. Perhaps he couldn't be left to his own devices. Loneliness was the greatest foe he had yet to conquer for good.

As he walked down the a hallway of a universally acclaimed art museum, he pondered the life questions he always seemed to ignore. When was the right time to face the facts he so effortlessly pushed from his thoughts? So many answers to questions he had never asked. Things he longed to know and cared absolutely nothing about all at once.

"You always do this!" A pretty alien female yelled in a harsh whisper to her supposed mate. "Lead me on like some sort of-"

"Not here, darling," the male tried to calm her down, looking nervously around the room. He obviously didn't want to be involved in the scene his mate was determined to continue.

_Poor man. He probably can't make the ever coveted commitment. Spending large amounts of time with a woman almost always means making some vow or giving the relationship some sort of title._ His chest tightened at the memory of being in the other man's shoes. _Despite the way we carried on, Rose never-_

He stopped before allowing his inner voice to complete the thought. Rose. He simply couldn't allow himself to think of her. She was still so vivid in his mind yet he kept her more out of reach than any other thought. Only on the rare occasion that he dreamt did he allow himself the pleasure of her perfect company.

_But that was another time_, he thought with a silent sigh. Of all creatures to be thinking of at a time like this, her memory made him feel more alone than any other.

Without warning, he heard his sonic screwdriver. The Doctor was startled at the realization that he hadn't bumped the sonic probe in his left breast pocket. It never went off without being tampered with. He took it out then grabbed it at the very bottom of the base, balancing it between his fingers more than actually holding it. His eyebrows wiggled the way he couldn't help when a proper puzzle came along. When it sounded a second time, his stomach twisted.

_If I absolutely, positively did not touch mine… yet heard it…_

His heart began to race as he gave a single quick glance around the room. It was painfully clear that he was by no means alone in the hallway of twenty-sixth century alien paintings. After another glance around, eyeing each of the ten beings in the room individually, something caught his eye. Rather, someone. A millisecond's worth of light brown curls rounded the corner.

_You_, his inner voice hissed, slightly intrigued.

The Doctor raced around the corner to find a dead end. There was a short distance between the "Male" and "Female" restrooms. Between them was a single drinking fountain- a universal design concept which always seemed to surprise him. Come to think of it, he hadn't had a drink of anything for hours. Just thinking about a drinking fountain made him quite thirsty. He walked towards the humming machine and was surprised to find that it was his favorite kind of fountain- a telepathic beauty that delivered whatever kind of drink the user was thinking of while drinking. A few quick gulps of chilly strawberry water were taken before someone nearly yanked his arm from its socket.

Before he could react, he was swiftly pulled into the female loo. The Doctor had just enough time to look over his shoulder to ease his suspicions. _She _was dragging him backwards but he couldn't fight her built momentum. One look around the room ensured that they were alone. He released a groan of dread, having a good idea of what was next, then was pushed into the largest stall. Within the next second he turned around to face her.

"Hello, sweetie," she smirked.

The two words were said quickly and in the flirting tone he remembered well. How she had time to close the stall door, lock it, then put her body close to his in that short amount of time was beyond him. She was already in his personal space and getting more personal by the second.

"You!" he stammered, unsure of her next move.

"Me!" River smiled with bright eyes and that sneaky smug little smirk.

Before he could speak, she pressed her full lips to the spot on his neck that drove a reaction from him every time. He gasped from sheer shock of her bold move before trying to remove her from his trembling figure. Instead of allowing herself to be pushed away, the woman only released one of her throaty chuckles.

"Stay still and kiss me," she nearly purred before pressing her lips to his.

The Doctor's eyes bulged as his mouth was roughly, but skillfully, claimed by River Song. She managed to snake one hand around his small frame and push a button on her other wrist without breaking the steamy kiss. His panicked face was glowing bright red when the vortex manipulator made them disappear. The Doctor couldn't move from being pinned between the stall door and the ridiculous woman.

One second they were in the female loo. The next, they were somewhere else.

"What was _that_?" he questioned, still more shocked and confused than anything else.

His face was crinkled and both hearts pounding at full speed. It wasn't every day that someone cleverly forced him to do something- usually it was the other way around. River took a few steps away, toying with him as she watched his every move.

"Of all acquaintances to run into, you were the very one I _didn't_ want to see." He angrily paced around the room trying to deduce their location- a beautiful room with colorful floor tiles and windows hinting at the night sky. Not enough. They were far away from where they had just been.

"Well you know who I am. That's a good sign. What was our latest adventure?" She was too happy to see him.

After a brief pause, he glanced at her then returned his eyes to the room's majestic details.

"We were in a library," The Doctor finally mumbled, still irritated with the woman.

"Oh, how exciting. Only a handful of things we could have been doing there. Then again, anything and everything seems to happen when you're around." She paused when he didn't reply- rather, when he didn't play along.

Those large shining almond eyes and pleased smirk meant nothing to him but trouble- he remembered the combination well. But this woman was still so much a mystery to him, one he didn't want to bother with at the moment. He rather wished she would remain a mystery somewhere far away. Another system would be nice.

"And what were we doing, Doctor?"

What was the annoying phrase she had used?

"Spoilers," the Doctor offered a grin.

"Now you're learning," she grinned with greatest pleasure. The man of stone was playing at last.

The next time she saw him would be her death, but only he knew this information. The fact that she knew his Time Lord name still bothered him but she was obviously of some importance to him in the future. He wrestled with himself about being nice to her- out of pity that this was their second to last time together. And that was _if_ what she said about their time line was true. A rather large if.

"Alright, Professor Song." For the first time, he spun around to meet her fixed stare. "Why are you here?"

"I don't know what you mean," she grinned with a girlish oblivious expression.

_An expert at playing coy. And a bloody flirt at that. _

"You wouldn't have found me if you didn't want something," the Time Lord reasoned aloud.

After a quick knowing smile, she sighed, "Just came to see a boy."

"Not today, River," The Doctor softly begged. His eyes lowered to the floor again.

Then she finally noticed. Something was wrong. Very wrong. Taking a few towards her husband, just out of his personal space, she took a heavy breath.

"How long have you known me?" It was almost a terrified whisper.

"We met that once. At the library." He answered a bit more kind, a softer tone than before. When their eyes met a second time, he looked almost sad. Oh how she knew those sad tortured eyes- so different from this regeneration's usually bright and soft brown eyes.

"So you don't really know me," the woman spoke with grave realization.

The defeated expression on her face didn't suite her. It actually stirred quite an unexpected reaction in both of his hearts. He had to do something to lift her spirits. Anything.

"But I know enough about you to like you," he gave a small hopeful grin. "I must or we wouldn't have gotten married- a bit curious about that. _Blimey_," he sighed, becoming more honest than either anticipated from him. With that, the trace of a smirk returned to her red painted lips, those eyes playful once more.

"Go on," River purred, making even the gloomy Time Lord's lips pleasantly flinch from sheer amusement.

For a moment, he wondered how long he could continue fighting her undeniable wit and charm. He had obviously given in sooner or later. But he decided to leave some things to fate.

"You're clever. Almost _too_ clever. I haven't seen bravery like yours in ages. A born leader," he proclaimed.

"If only you knew," the woman mumbled almost sarcastically, as if in regret. She lead him through a posh doorway that went outside into the night.

"Then tell me," he gently challenged.

River sat on a stone bench beneath the sparkling night sky. They were on a hill overlooking a meadow, a thousand shooting stars above them. It was quite romantic. If only he cared about her _that _way.

"Not sure you want to hear about all of that tonight." The Doctor sat beside her with minimal hesitance. She had calmed the flirting a great deal.

"Why not? That bad?"

"You already seem down, no offence." He silently shrugged in agreement. "Why _are_ you so down, Doctor?" Her pretty face turned towards him, awaiting a response that possibly wouldn't come.

What to tell her? Which reply to give? Could he completely trust her? She obviously trusted him- with her life even. The loving way she stared told him how deep her feeling for him truly were. Maybe it was even love. When was the proper time to trust someone new? Someone who already loved him so much more than he could comprehend?

"You're lonely," she spoke, as if in pain herself. "Lonely and bored." He couldn't form words or even glance at her to confirm her insight. "You won't be for too much longer." River's tone and body language lightened, turning more optimistic. Her eyes raised up towards the meteor shower. "I think this is the period you go a bit mad." The Doctor finally gave her a quick playful look, as if to answer an obvious question. "Well, more mad than the usual," she chuckled. "You said that you shag Queen Elizabeth, visit new planets, mess with history a bit, run into your other selves (nothing too major), and finally find purpose once more."

He thought on this information for a few moments before an amused chortle. "What about spoilers?" his Scottish accent was thick and finally teasing.

"Don't worry about it for now," she replied while looking at something in the lush meadow below, green tall grass glowing from white moonlight.

"So…" He didn't know where to begin, slightly more comfortable with her now that she wasn't making forceful advances on him.

"There's quite a lot, isn't there?"

"Quite a lot of what?"

"Things I know that you don't."

"I'm sure I've managed to keep a few secrets," he quipped, crossing his arms and legs to a more casual sitting position.

"_No_, I don't think so," she nearly blushed with a wicked giggle.

The Doctor could only imagine the private moments they had shared. They were odd to imagine at this point in time. Judging from the way she treated him, there had probably been an erotic moment or two.

He flinched when she tried to take his hand.

"So who is my next companion? Is it you?" The clever man asked, changing the subject while moving his hand from her reach- as if he didn't notice her intimate gesture. He did notice her slight disappointment.

_Fine. I'll be nice_, River's inner voice whined. Instead of complaining about their lack of physical contact, River began offering information.

"Her name is Amy. She's seven when you meet and you promise to come back for her in five minutes. You leave and don't return until she's nineteen."

"That wasn't very nice of me," the Doctor frowned.

"It was completely by accident. Or so you tell us every time anyone says anything about it."

"Anyone? How many others know?" She spoke of it as if the fact had become a sort of inside joke.

"Amy marries Rory shortly after she meets you. Then one night, they go at it while the TARDIS is flying through the time vortex," she smirked with a blush. "And then, nine months later, they have _me_."

"So I'm supposed to look for an Amy Song?"

"You just do what comes natural and everything will lead me right back to you." She paused. "Or you to me."

River tried to take his hand a second time, hungry for skin to skin contact (of any kind) with her husband. It pained her when he moved away from her a second time.

"Is there someone else?" Her voice trembled in a way he had never heard.

"Wouldn't you know if there was?" he teased, moving his shoulder to bump against hers- a friendly but safe touch.

"I don't know much about this generation's personal history. Just the basic general facts."

The Doctor was thankful for this- be it rude or not. Again, he questioned how much to confide in his future wife. He took a deep thoughtful breath, wondering if this was the last time he'd say it.

"Her name was Rose."

"Rose Tyler?" River gasped.

"So you've heard of her?" he grinned, leaping at the moment to share her memory with someone, anyone.

"Only through legends. She singlehandedly killed the dalek emperor and a whole fleet of daleks, ships and all."

"Yeah," he smiled, allowing himself to go back to their first kiss- his first time replaying a full memory of her in weeks.

"Were you lovers?" Even she was surprised after asking the bold question. By his blush alone, she guessed the answer. A few seconds passed then she released a light chuckle, her gaze back down to the meadow. "You with a human. I would like to see that."

"You're not-"

"Human? Of course not," River giggled with that secret smile. "Part Time Lord. Being conceived in the time vortex and all. Guess the TARDIS planned it that way."

"Right," the Doctor mused, nodding but still not understanding.

"You lost her." The deduction came before another pause.

"Sort of." His whispering voice returned.

"How do you 'sort of' lose someone?"

_Secrets for secrets I suppose_, he thought.

"In recent events, there was a Time Lord-human metacrisis- Donna Noble and myself. I had to wipe her memory but left my other half-human self with Rose."

Though her gasp wasn't quite audible, the Doctor still took note of the woman's genuine shock. It had been quite an event, one he both cherished and loathed.

Never had she seen him like this. He was deep in thought about a girl a universe away for all River knew. His eyes were full of the familiar pain of his eleventh self. Amy and Rory weren't his first major losses. And neither was the Tyler woman, she soon realized. How had she been so foolish to think he had not known pain until then?

"You could always go back for her. Stealing a woman from yourself- so very _you_," she tried to tease. But his empty expression didn't change.

"She's in a reality I had to seal off… forever."

River watched him remember a few memories longer before concluding, "You loved her."

"More than anything anytime anywhere," he softly admitted. "And I never got to tell her myself."

"She knew," River forced a half smile, patting him on the back- sympathetic as a friend would be. Her heart bled for him despite the slight jealousy she felt- the Tyler girl knew a version of him that she would never meet.

"She didn't anticipate his apologetic stare.

"That's why it's too soon for me, River," he confided. "I only said good bye a few weeks ago. It still hurts more than I ever imagined." Her eyes fell for the first time. "But in the future, we could… You already know how that all turns out."

"Yeah," she thoughtfully smiled, now deep in thought herself. Oh the nights they had shared. Some were dangerous and exciting while others were simply romantic. Her eyes met his then returned to the meadow.

"What are you looking at?" the man questioned, curious as to what had been dividing her attention since they arrived.

River hesitated only for a moment before answering, "Look at them closely, Doctor."

He obeyed, nearly squinting to make up the difference between the dark setting and the distance between them. It was a couple sitting on a blanket, a few candles around the blanket. They were loved up, limbs nearly tangled together, and talking in soft adoring tones. Every once and a while, one would laugh or made another sound of blissful mirth. The two were obviously in love. But they looked- normal. Familiar almost. After a few more seconds, his hearts began to race.

"River," he began, "that's you down there." It was a mixture of shock and uncertainty.

"Yes it is. With _you_," the woman announced with a distant longing look in her e gaze, as if revealing a precious secret.

"That's me?" The Doctor looked away, in fear of what he might find. Thankfully, the two had their backs towards their other selves. He could now make out her frizzy curls but nothing of his future self.

"Do I love you?"

"Very much," she sighed, wishing to relive the night her younger self was having. Her Doctor had been so happy this night. This younger Time Lord was still a stranger to her- but not more than she was to him.

He quickly fought with himself about whether to tell her or not. Could there be any precautions taken? Would she figure out the clues if he gave them to her? Would it completely change everything? Was it a set point in time?

Her hand taking his ripped the Time Lord from his thoughts. The simple touch sent a brief wave of electric through his skinny body. When their eyes met, his were wide while hers remained relaxed. She obviously knew what she was doing. The Doctor, however, hadn't the slightest clue.

"It's time to take you back."

"How far?"

"How far do you want to go?" she asked with a sexual undertone.

"I have a feeling that's not the first time you've asked that question." He was flirting a bit now.

"Oh, Doctor," she blushed with a little giggle, rolling her eyes to add to her coy performance. "I'm taking you right back where I found you." She was almost giddy, stirring something foreign in the Doctor's soul. A feeling he had forgotten long ago.

He hesitated only a moment before asking, "And… what am I to do with given information?"

"Oh, _you_ won't remember a thing." Immediately his head snapped up to meet her wicked grin. "I'm never to tell anyone what's going to happen but I gave _you_ spoilers- good ones too. Though it's been more than satisfying, husband dear, I never give spoilers without consequences."

It then registered why she was holding his hand.

"Will I see you again? Before the library?" His words were rushed and panicked.

"Spoilers," she lit up in that maddening way she did when saying the bloody word. "Catch you later, sweetie," she sang.

The man quickly tried to dedicate everything they had just said and done to memory before she pushed her manipulator bracelet. He was one quick jump away from forgetting everything.

"River-"

The Doctor was alone again. He was on some planet far across the universe outrunning his past and future all in one go. Despite his greatest efforts, the Time Lord felt comfort and satisfaction nowhere. There wasn't a planet or era missed in his fight to lose himself. His friends were gone, no race or species was in immediate danger, and his mind had somehow become a haze. Perhaps they were right, the dear friends he released to finish their normal lives in peace. Perhaps he couldn't be left to his own devices. Loneliness was the greatest foe he had yet to conquer.

A millisecond's worth of light brown curls rounded the corner.

_You_, his inner voice hissed.

He felt disoriented but couldn't remember why. Seeing just a glimpse of Professor Song made his stomach turn- he couldn't decide if it was in a bad or good way. He didn't want to speak with her. He didn't want her to even notice his presence. Trying to remember was more important than chasing after trouble. But what was he trying so hard to remember? It had been ages since he put so much effort into something.

One thing he knew for certain: the less of _her_ he saw, the better. She was the greatest mystery of his life- well, at the moment. And one he didn't want to bother with for the moment.

* * *

**So that was fun, yeah? Not everything was explained, I know. But it's River- she comes with a few good mysteries whenever she comes around. Thought it would be cool to explore what it would be like if the library wasn't their only time meeting. I'm a MASSIVE 10/Rose shipper but I wish we had just one or two more episodes of 10/River. They would be brilliant! Let me know what you think! I love hearing from you all! RnR! Cheers =)**


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